Watching the Mighty Fall

There seems to be compunction in humans to get some perverse pleasure in watching someone on who has reached success topple. People have made their careers (if you could call it that) by searching the lives of people who are the top of their game for signs of weakness, and then exposing these secrets for others to delight in.

I find it heartbreaking to watch the media frenzy surrounding the pictures, innuendos, speculations and outright lies that surround celebrities like Sandra Bullock and Jesse James; Tiger Woods; John Edwards and Jennifer Anniston. What gives the public the right to delve into the private lives of others just because they have money or fame?

Paparazzi stalk celebrities to take pictures of them at their most unflattering times. They hound them for answers to personal questions as if it’s any of their business. Just because they are good at their craft does not mean anything past their performance is the right of the public. Gossip is such a horrible thing, and so many people get hurt from it. We’ve all experienced the heartbreak caused by rumors, spread by people who have nothing else to do than delight in the hurt of others.

“Focusing on the failures of others allows us to hide from our own weaknesses,”(author unknown) is an excellent way to describe what is really going on. We look at the lives of celebrities as being perfect, and dream of a life for ourselves just like it. Those beautiful people could not possibly know what it’s like to walk in your shoes!

There is no such thing as a perfect life. Everyone has flaws, and everyone experiences heartbreak. Imagine what your life would be like if you were betrayed by your spouse and the local newspaper spread it on the front page, put it on the radio and television, and you were hit in the face by it wherever you went? It’s not bad enough you have to endure the pain, you have to do it in front of everyone. Not only that, your family and friends are made to suffer along with you – getting asked questions from perfect strangers about your life. There is no time to work it out alone and in private.

The questioner makes it appear that they are concerned, where in reality they are simply satisfying their need to rub it in and be superior to the one in pain.

I find Paparazzi and tabloid “journalism” disgusting. There is so much going on in the world, and in our lives, that we don’t have to take pleasure in the pain of others. These people are not journalists, and this is not news. If they really wanted to take their craft seriously, find the good things that are going on in the world and report about them. Every block of every town in the world has something wonderful going on at any given minute. There is no lack of material to cover. Hurting others in order to “earn your bones” seems like a seedy way to earn a living.

It is my belief that tabloid journalism has done a great deal to topple our society and drawn us away from the compassionate side of ourselves. We delight in the struggles of others, and don’t see anything wrong it that.

What does that say about us?

Hollywood Lists

I don't pay much attention to the Hollywood award ceremonies, or even listening to the gossip. I am not one like to listen to rude comments about people, even if they are true. That's why I often wonder who comes up with the list that ranks the talents, or fashions, of the "A" list in Hollywood.

I ADORE watching the red carpet shows before the events. I have always been a fan of designers, and fashion. I even thought about being a dress designer when I was young, and used up many sketch pads just drawing dresses I considered beautiful. It was my way of living a real fantasy, even though I never thought I was physically up to the part.

What qualifies Joan and Melissa Rivers as fashionistas? Having money certainly can afford you the luxury of designer clothes, but having those clothes does not make you an expert. Who gave George Blackwell the podium to make the top 10 "Best Dressed List?"

There a lot of people who are heralded as designers that I, personally, question their talent. What I think is a beautiful dress someone else may not, and what looks fabulous on one person looks dull on another.

As a matter of fact, fashion is now, and has always been, a matter of personal taste. I agree that not all clothing looks good on everyone - no matter how skinny they are. I also wonder why someone would spend thousands of dollars on one dress and not do their hair, but that is a personal observation. Fashion is art, and art is always subject to opinion.

A recent Hollywood list came out that noted certain Hollywood "stars" as being over or under-rated. I don't agree with all those on the list, and wonder where they got their qualifications to state whether an actors talent was over-rated, or had potential. This list is subjective - and when people put articles like this out they ought to put it in the editorial section, and put their name on it, since it is not an exact science and subjective.

Robin Williams was on the list of over-rated actors, yet I find him to have a wide range of talent. His behavior is bizarre, but he has held down serious roles as well as comedic.

There are a lot of actors on the list I have never heard of, and many who could be listed, in my opinion, on both sides - but if the public likes them and I don't that doesn't mean they are not talented.

It has been observed that many actors do not receive an award for the work that is up for an award, but much of the work they had done previously should have been taken into consideration, so they are given an award this time. Example: Paul Newman won his Oscar for "The Color of Money," yet it was not his best work. Taking into account all the work he had done, this was not on the top ten list even. I have to say, however his performances have always been top notch - but you can't beat his work in "Cool Hand Luke," or "A Long, Hot Summer."

Russell Crow won his Oscar for "Gladiator," and it was an excellent movie, and his acting was superb, but he also was excellent in "A Beautiful Mind," and several others that have gone unnoticed.

If Hollywood has a problem with an actor's behavior off the screen they will be snubbed for awards for their work. Example: Robert Downey Jr. in "Chaplin." So, the awards are not based on performance as much as on sentiment.

If the decision were mine, I would not give an award to ONE person in one category, but to all those who put forth an exceptional performance that year. I've never been a fan of singling ONE person out for recognition when so many have contributed to the efforts. Make the list the top 10, and honor them for their outstanding work.

But then again, the 11th person would be snubbed, so I guess there is always someone who is left out.

Just my random thoughts! My next ranting will be about "Reality Shows." lol

Our Arrogant Nation

I get emails passed along to me daily. Some I pass to others and some I delete. Every once in awhile I get one that makes me so angry I have to sit down and vent.

Now, I get a lot of propaganda emails – from both sides of the fence since I am a registered Republican and have campaigned the last two presidential elections for Democrats. I usually slough all of them off and ignore them, because I am not exactly enamored with either side on the majority of their legislation that ends up riddled with worthless pork and negotiations to the point where there is no substance. I realize that I have to do my own research to get the facts and not listen to people trying to push forward a political agenda.

When Mr. Obama was elected I had high hopes that our nation would finally have the opportunity to come together – as we did during 911. I still have hopes that will happen, but given the way the political world works I don’t see he will be able to do what he ideally wanted to when he was elected. When politicians start looking out for ALL the people, and not just their own little back yards, re-election and their own party, then our nation will finally be what our forefathers had intended.

Although I admire and respect the 95-year old hero who supposedly wrote the email got me up in arms I do not wholly agree with his viewpoint. Often we are blinded by the actual words and do not look at the meaning behind them.

He condemns Mr. Obama for telling the world that the United States is arrogant. This is something I have told people for years! We are an arrogant bunch. We live in the greatest nation in the world and we think all other nations should be in awe of us. We are the top of the mountain, and look down on other nations who do not believe as we do, or have the same customs, as being wrong. Who gave us that right? I don’t recall reading in any “good book” about the United States being the masters of the earth.

We are the envy of other countries, and our citizens, for the most part, are kind people with good values. We are always the first to help out in case of emergencies, and although we don’t believe we ask anything in return perhaps our jumping in immediately and overshadowing the local people’s efforts could be seen by other cultures as taking over. We think our methods and ideals are the right ones, and everyone else is wrong. We, as a whole nation, take for granted the lifestyle we are lucky to become accustomed to, and that others wish they had. In our efforts to show how powerful and mighty we are we often lose sight of the problems that are in our own back yard, or how other perceive us.

Mr. Estes, the veteran in the email, condemns Mr. Obama for telling the world we are no longer a Christian nation. He was not telling them we are not Christians, just that we are no longer JUST a Christian nation. We have embraced people from all walks of life, all countries, and all religions. Although I am a Christian I am not so blind as to believe that other religions don’t have wonderful and kind people who are just as loyal to their beliefs as Christians are. What is un-Christian behavior is the hate and intolerance many so called “Christian” people seem to have for those who do not believe as they do. After all, a Christian is someone who walks in the footsteps of Christ, and he embraced EVERYONE, even those who were non-believers. Think about this: there are so many different divisions in the Christian faith, and so many different styles of worship, that there is no one who can say for absolute certainty theirs is the TRUE Christian faith.

We all pray to the same God, but call him/her by a different name. No real religion professes violence! That is a concept of individuals with an agenda. If all nations follow the teachings of the ten commandments - and they all do in one form or another, then we all are one under God, no matter how we choose to worship. The best way to understand is to learn about each other.

More people have died from wars fought under the banner of "religion" than for any other reason. Greed is the essence of all wars – some one person or nation wanting more than they have. Religion is the excuse. The Crusades are a perfect example of man's inhumanity to man, and even those who professed to being “Christian” were cruel and inhumane. There were no bounds of cruelty spared in the name of "Christianity."

Until we all embrace our differences, and learn to understand that each of us has within us a "soul" that God gave us, we will always be in danger of losing our focus. God gave us freedom of choice, and from history we have learned we have not taken that responsibility seriously. God, being all-knowing, was fully aware what was going to happen before we were all born, and he chose to bring mankind here anyway. He made ALL people, ALL colors, and ALL sexes, and allowed disease and pestilence to inhabit the earth. He saw all life – animal, vegetable or human, as PERFECT in his eyes – yet we think we know better than him!

Mr. Obama has the wisdom to speak the truth, knowing it would bring controversy. American ARE arrogant - which does not make us bad people. We have fought hard, for ourselves and others, to be able to stand up and reach out a hand to help others. We have lost our men and women to war, slavery and persecution in the effort to be able to become one nation, UNDER GOD. By calling us arrogant that does not discount the efforts of our people, but it does say that we have a long way to go to learn tolerance.

In his address to other nations he acknowledged their perception of us – one that has been tarnished greatly in the last decade by the deeds of those who were supposed to represent ALL the people of our country. He wanted other nations to know that we are proud of our country, but we also need to grow and understand that other countries are also proud of theirs. We tend to think of ourselves as "better" and that is not the case. There is NO nation in the world that has not suffered hardships, war, poverty, slavery or grief in an effort to be free and independent people.

My generation, the Baby Boomers, have had it so good - due largely to the sacrifices of the generations that came before us. Our children have had it even better, and it is my hope that their children will also see progress. My husband fought in Vietnam, and I raised my family on military bases for many years. I understand the plight of the military, and I understand the sacrifices of the families who have had to fend for themselves while their loved ones defended our country from evil – but evil is not all the people of one nation or religion, but the greed and power usurped by a small group to promote themselves and their agenda.

Yes, Mr. Estes, we can still love our country and not agree with it’s policies. We can disagree with our public officials, and we can speak out against them. That is what you, and millions of others like you, have fought and died for over the last 300 years.

The best diplomacy is admitting you are not perfect, that you do make mistakes, and that you wish to embrace others and try to work out your difference. What Mr. Obama did was a major step on bringing warring nations to the conference table than anything that has been done in the past 9 years. We can only go forward from here.

Where the Wild Things Are

I took my son's girlfriend's 4-yr. old boy to the movie "Where the Wild Things Are" last Friday. Despite the fact that two tickets, plus one box of popcorn and two small drinks cost $13 (discount rate) at the movies, I was hoping for a delightful afternoon adventure, and was hoping Michael would enjoy it as well (If truth be known, I wanted to see the movie and needed a child to take me!).

I read the Maurice Sendak picture book several years ago, when I was taking a class in Children's Literature as part of the Early Childhood program at the local college. I really enjoyed the book, even though there were only 10 words of text in the entire book, the pictures told the story. Evidently many others thought highly of it as well, since it won the prestigious Caldecott Medal for the best illustration of a book in Children's Literature in 1964. It also won the Boston Globe-Horn Book Award, and was an American Library Association Notable Book.

The wonderful thing about "Where the Wild Things Are" is that it shows children they can use their imagination to explore and create. It also shows that there is nothing wrong with wanting to get away from their normal life for a little while. After all, where would we be if there was no imagination - there would be no books, no movies, no video games, etc.

I was disappointed in the movie. I felt it lost a lot of opportunities to teach children how to deal with being isolated, feeling left out, dealing rationally with anger, and including everyone - no matter how different they looked. It addressed a few of these issues, but not in depth enough to teach anything.

The characters were cute, and parts of the movie was funny, but the bad behavior of the boy was not dealt with. What it did teach was that people sometimes get angry and deal with it in different ways. Also, despite how bad you are you're parents will love you and worry about your safety (at least most parents will).

I would have liked to see the main character - Max, learn something more than the fact that he didn't want to really be anywhere but home, no matter how much fun it was to be away.

If someone has a comment about this, please feel free to respond.

Feed the Birds

I was never much of a bird watcher growing up. Birds then were more of a pest - like pigeons. Then I met David, and he was one of those who participated in the annual bird count, so whenever we went out he would point to a bird and tell me the species, and if it was indigenous to our area.

At first it was a yawn for me, and I was thinking “What a geek,” but soon I started to pay attention, and it wasn’t much later that we started amassing birdfeeders.

I knew that some birds flew south for the winter, but what was more interesting were the ones who stayed, and how they survived in our cold, Michigan winter climate.

I particularly liked to watch the cardinals and the finches. The distinctive bright colored feathers of the males, and the unusual but equally beautiful coloring of the female cardinal, with her brownish red feathers and bright orange beak. If you take a close look, as we have been able to do with them feeding, you can begin to tell them apart.

We have followed one cardinal family through generations in our back yard. The beautiful original pair started to bring their young to our feeders, and soon we lost sight of the older ones as the next generations brought their young. I often wonder whatever happened to the first pair we took to heart.

Yellow finches are the most common here, and I never knew that their feathers got darker as the cold approached, and then came back to the vibrant yellow as warm weather set in.

I wonder if birds discriminate? I have seen different species of bird feed from our feeders, and I have seen seen some become more aggressive with other birds, but I have never seen a red finch feed with a yellow finch. Perhaps it's because we don't have many red finches, but the ones we do have don't associate with the yellow ones - at least not from my observations.

If you really want to enjoy nature, put up a birdfeeder, birdhouse or birdbath outside the window you normally sit at. You will then understand that bird watching is not a “geek” hobby, but actually a study in society of other species. What an education!

On Being a Grandmother

Six weeks ago my baby had her first baby. It was beautiful to watch the birth, and amazing to see this miniature person emerge and tell the world he has arrived. There is nothing more awesome than to witness the miracle of birth.

This is my second grandchild, and I am lucky that both children are healthy and well developed. I watch in amazement as each day they develop more skills, and their physical appearance changes. My oldest daughter has a little girl who is now 4, and she has been a wonder each time we see her.

Unfortunately, my oldest daughter lives with her family in Lansing, which is a 2 1/2 hour trip each way, so I don't get to see my granddaughter as often as I would like. Periodically she will come for an extended stay, and we will get some alone time to have tea parties, plant flowers and go for short outings. Her vocabulary is extraordinary, and because she is an avid observer, has taken on the mannerisms of those around her. I never knew I used the word "actually" as often as I do, until she started correcting people with "Well, actually......." It's amazing to see your reflection in other people.

I love being a grandmother. It doesn't make me feel old, like I thought it would. It makes me feel younger, and more energized. I have an opportunity to help mold another being, but I don't have the pressure of being solely responsible for them. This frees me to enjoy them more, and teach them things I never had time to teach their mothers or aunts and uncles. I can look back and see mistakes I made with my children and pass them along to their parents. I also get a chance to be a person their mothers turn to for guidance. It's amazing how much smarter we get as grandparents than we were as parents (in the eyes of our children).

My grandson and his mother will soon be moving in with me. It is, unfortunately, a necessary move until finances are better for both of us, but I am certain each of us will be working toward independence as soon as possible. Being a grandparent is a wonderful experience, but the biggest pleasure is that you only have the children for short spurts to energize you, and then can send them home so you can regroup.

The problems in our health care

I just viewed an excellent interview from the PBS station’s Moyer Report. This interview with Robert Reich (who, in my opinion, is the best qualified and humane person to ever hold a cabinet position), as well as interviews with people who have been treated unfairly by the insurance companies and a whistleblower who was an executive with a major insurance company. You can view this video at: http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/07102009/profile.html.
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The interviews definitely point out the shortcomings of our society when it comes to medical coverage. The corporations are getting rich off the backs of sick people. There is no humanity in a capitalistic society! The thousands of percentage markups on medications by the pharmaceutical companies, higher insurance premiums without payout, etc.... all leads to a medical crisis in our country. We are the ONLY major country that does not provide health care to their citizens.

When my husband died 15 years ago I had the option of keeping his insurance (COBRA is required to offer it after you have lost your job), but the rate went up from $17 a week to $394 a month! With three children under 14, and the loss of a paycheck, I could not handle that kind of increase - so have not had insurance since. Michigan is great in that they offer free medical coverage for children under 19 if your income warrants it - but nothing for adults who make more than minimum wage, but not enough to pay high premiums.

There are millions of people like me, who need medication and can not afford to pay for a doctor visit, much less the medication itself. We only go to a doctor or hospital when there is an emergency, and then the bills are ridiculous. I just received bills from a 4 hour visit to the emergency room (because my doctor over-prescribed high blood pressure medication and I passed out). The bills totaled over $3,000 for them to check my blood, heart, scan my brain and talk to a doctor. Regular and routine preventative medicine would eliminate many hospital visits and surgeries, and if I could afford to go to a doctor regularly could have found out that my blood pressure had gone down and the medication could have been decreased.

Robert Reich is my hero! I always thought he was the smartest member of the Clinton administration. I wish Obama had included him when choosing his cabinet. He has the right attitude, and his concern is for the "average" person and not being a “butt kisser” for the lobbyists and large corporations. Look what corporate American has done to our economy. They don't even have to do a good job and get bailouts, without strings. What a perfect idea this is for them! Meanwhile, the average person struggles to make ends meet and pay the corporations to mismanage.

You are welcome to comment on what you see. It’s always good to have some discourse on topics relevant to most of our population.